Why “Stay True to Yourself” Didn’t Work for Me…Until Now

“Is this REALLY my true voice?”

In a nutshell, I was THINKING what “stay true to yourself” means to me WITHOUT FEELING my own voice.

That’s because I’d been covering up my feelings on the bottom with inner voices like “Emika, just be patient and keep working hard, and you’ll figure it out.”

• For instance, at my suffocating work as a salesperson, I’d not been coping with what I actually FEEL beyond public ideals or facade (“tatemae 建前” in Japanese).
• It was more based on “SHOULD” instead of “GET TO”.

Much worse, I was mistakenly seeing such pep talks as my gut feelings until now.

That’s why I’ve started asking myself: “Wait, is this really my true voice?”

On a work leave of absence

Currently, I’m on a 1-month work leave due to mental/physical health.

My mind is a bit more at rest and I can reflect more deeply

But recently I feel like “I don’t feel helpful enough to someone else.”

This shows I do want to be of help to others through my work (through corporate work, this blog, and personal relationships) …but as long as it’s not against my core personal values and my introverted nature.

Reaffirming introversion and values

My introverted and highly sensitive nature, sincerity, and openness play huge roles in shaping who I am.

Covering them up to meet societal expectations (especially at the workplace) only makes life harder.

Although doing otherwise and being authentic is easier said than done, at least I started working on it through my work and this platform.

Direction of this blog with authenticity

I realized my inner desire to be helpful to someone else by contributing to physical/mental health and gezellig (cozy/homey) lifestyles with nature.

However, I don’t need to force myself to stay in my current job field or the food service industry.

From now on, I’ll write freely from Japan and the Netherlands beyond “should”—simply about life as it is.

Hopefully that authenticity will make someone’s in a better state of mind.